When Things Go Wrong, Do You Turn To Food?

I do. I realize in the great scheme of things, my “really bad day” is TODAY! My back pain has gotten so bad, my day started with me sitting in my car crying.


I am not PMSing, but I feel bloated and gross from my week of bad eating, and all I wanted to do today after work was train with Sham and my workout buddy Michelle. I got up this morning struggling to walk, my back pain has gotten the best of me. Clearly this was not a personal grievance the Exercise Lords had against Priscilla, but my vulnerable emotional state made it feel that way.

I feel a little bit rejected and really annoyed that I cant workout today. I finally got out of my car and walked into an office full of panera bagels, with an array of cream cheese crap—you know, the kind with the sugar I’m not supposed to be eating.I decided to have half a bagel, but it wasn’t enough (it never is)I was too embarrassed to walk back to the counter and grab another half. No amount of bagels is going to make me feel better; I'm not looking for food, I'm looking to get my way in to still workout, I'm looking for my back pain to GO AWAY, to feel better about my body. Wouldn’t life be easy if we could get all that coated in rainbow sprinkles?


This morning keeps pricking me with little thorns in my side—I am trying hard not to blame myself for my recent acts of compulsive eating, because I really, truly believe this addiction is an illness like any other—drugs, alcohol, gambling, whatever. Lack of willpower isn’t what makes alcoholics turn to a bottle to sate the disappointments of their everyday lives, and I know that lack of willpower alone isn’t what makes me turn to food, either. I think accepting that I am not a weak person or that I need not to be “punished” for turning to food (only when I EARN it) in these situations will give me the freedom to move forward.

It is my hope that what will eventually free me from this compulsion—and yes, eventually allow me to have the body and the life I strive for—is constantly admitting to myself (and to you) the honest reality of my struggle.

So, in the spirit of that honesty and self-acceptance: When was the last time you turned to food to deal with an “everyday annoyance” or disappointment (trust me, nothing will sound too silly to me!)?